Davide la Locomotive

I gave it some serious thought. If I could go anywhere in the future — decades, centuries, eons ahead — what moment would I pick?
A time of peace? Technological breakthroughs? Interstellar travel?

Nope.

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WordPress question of the day: What are your future travel plans?

Firstly, I want to thank WordPress for asking the pressing existential questions. I haven’t thought deeply about which point in the future I’d travel to—if I had access to a wormhole.
I don’t know why.
It was such an obvious question.

It’s a nice change from “dogs or cats?” (for which I still don’t have an answer, but honestly, it barely matters).

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I’d prefer to travel back in time—ideally to before J-pop—but apparently WordPress only supports forward time travel. Classic WordPress: rolling out features half-baked.
Sure, you can go forward in time. But back?
Nope.
I guess they haven’t solved the minor issue of “accidentally killing your dad and triggering a paradox that collapses the universe.”
Typical.

So fine. Forward it is.

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At first, I thought I’d jump 100 years ahead. Drop 50p into a savings account today and boom—compound-interest millionaire.
Then immediately blow it all on a lifetime supply of KitKats.

Of course, I wouldn’t be able to come back.
All my friends would be dead.
Everyone I know and love—gone.
…
But also: KitKats.

After careful thought, it might not be worth it.
Even for KitKats.

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Then I considered travelling to a time when I don’t have to charge my phone every 6 hours.
But let’s be honest: that future doesn’t exist. Better batteries just mean brighter screens and 10 new ways to blink at a video.

Eventually, we’ll all have USB-Q ports implanted in our skulls. We won’t need phones.

The Matrix got it wrong.
The machines didn’t need to win a nuclear war.
They just created YouTube and TikTok.
And we plugged ourselves in.
Willingly.

The more I think about it…
I actually don’t want to travel forward and experience that—even if the battery life is amazing.

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Truth is, I like my life.
I can’t 3D print a bicycle or grow a spare hand.
I don’t have a phone that lasts forever or an endless stream of KitKats.
But I do have friends.
A lovely house.
A life I genuinely enjoy.

I think that’s enough.

So no—I’m not going 100 years into the future. Even for KitKats. Especially not for TikTok 9D.

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Wait—I’ve just had an idea.

I’d like to go 4 hours into the future.
Because I’m having pizza tonight.
And I literally can’t wait.
I’ve already emotionally committed to the garlic dip.

Oh—and WordPress?
I did check the site.
I can’t find the time travel button.

Is it for Premium users only?

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